Hey There Jewish People!
It’s me, your ole’ pal Buddy the Goy comin’atcha from Mudflap Junction deep here in the heart of Goyland once again! Say, Jewish people, me and all the rest of the folks here has all been keepin’ up with the news ‘bout Miss Hana Shalabi, that young Palestinian woman who’s been on a hunger strike for something like thirty-seven, thirty-eight days now, and that’s what I wanted to talk atcha about today. Ya see, all of us here in Mudflap Junction—we’s all real concerned ‘bout how she’s being treated! We all remember hearin’ of course how she wuz strip searched by a male soldier when she wuz locked up back in February, and that was bad enough, but now there’s a new report out that’s got us even more concerned.
It seems that on March 19 young Hana was being transferred from one detention facility in Israel to another when she was “grossly mistreated,” including by being “dragged across the floor” by one of her captors. Now think about that for a moment, Jewish people. This young woman started her hunger strike on February 16. That means that by March 19 she’d been 32 days without food! What do you reckon’s the matter with your tribal cousins over there that they’d do a thing like that—take somebody that ain’t had nuthin’ to eat for 32 days and drag’em across a floor? Imagine how weak she must have been! How could anybody treat another human being that way? Also it sounds like the torment isn’t only physical; apparently there’s some psychological abuse as well, including verbally browbeating her, lying to her, and psychologically manipulating her—all with the aim of getting her to end her hunger strike.
Of course, young Hana is being held in “administrative detention”, which means she ain’t even been charged with no crime, let alone convicted of anything! Can you imagine that, Jewish people? What does that say about your “only democracy in the Middle East”?
In this latest story on Hana, it’s also reported that her desire at this point is either for freedom or death. It kinda reminds us of Patrick Henry, who said, “Give me liberty, or give me death!” Young Hana Shalabi seems to be cut very much out of the same cloth as this famous American! Here’s what Stephen Lendman, the writer who wrote the article, says:
Like thousands of other wrongfully imprisoned Palestinians, Hana’s denied all rights, including due process and judicial fairness. They’re also subjected to torture, inhuman and degrading treatment. It’s official Israeli policy. Fundamental international law is routinely spurned.
In Hana’s case, she’s denied her right to live. She wants freedom or death. Her lawyer, Jawad Boulos, quoted her saying:
“It’s true our lives are very precious, but our freedom is even more precious and more powerful than their cells.”
In other words, like Patrick Henry, Hana essentially is saying, Give me my freedom or give me death!
But apparently her jailers would like to deny her both. Lendman goes on to inform us that threats have been issued to begin force-feeding her. So in other words—first they arrest her without cause, then they conduct an indecent strip search, then they go and drag her across a floor, now they’re talking ‘bout forcin’ a tube into her esophagus and pumping food down into it. Say what you will about us stupid, worthless Goyim, but we don’t treat ladies that way here in Mudflap Junction!
Yeah…I gotta tell ya this, Jewish people, and I know it’s gonna offend ya, but those tribal cousins of yours over there in Israel are startin’ to make the Nazis look like choir boys! So me and some of the other folks here got together last night and talked it over, and we came up with the following demand:
Free Hana Shalabi!
That’s right! Free her! Open up the gal-dang prison door and let her out! What the hell did she ever do to you? Thirty-seven-plus days without food????? I mean, this has gotta be one of the most courageous, determined, steadfast young women in the world!
“It’s true our lives are very precious, but our freedom is even more precious and more powerful than their cells.”
Selfless determination! This is the best the human species has to offer! This young woman is fighting her oppressors with the only weapons she has—her body and her mind. And they’re talking about stickin’ a tube down her throat and gaggin’ her with a bunch of stinking prison food? I mean, Jesus H. Christ, Jewish people! How low can these tribal cousins of yours go????? Why is it they can never seem to fathom what it means to respect people’s humanity?????
So yeah, as I say, we are demandin’ Hana’s freedom, but beyond that we got a few other choice demands as well, ten in all. Are y’all ready? This is from all us folks here in Mudflap Junction—
top ten things we’d like to express
to anyone who has anything to do with running
or maintaining the brutal prison system in Israel:
to anyone who has anything to do with running
or maintaining the brutal prison system in Israel:
And here they are, folks—in order:
10. Go jump out of an airplane without a parachute
9. Stick your nose in a paper shredder
8. Take all of your racist rabbis and pour candle wax into their beards
7. Tell “Jonah” to crawl back up the whale’s ass
[That last’un ‘uz from an ole boy named Billy who lives up on Whippoorwill Hill. Billy drinks a lot and has a tendency to get a bit crude at times, but we all thought we’d throw his suggestion in the pot anyhow!]
6. Go to a circus and stick your penis under the elephant’s foot
[Another ‘un from Billy]
5. Adopt the words “that shitty little country” as your national motto
4. Redesign your star of David to include a picture of the devil in the center
3. Squeeze a whole tube of toothpaste out into your hand and smear it all over your face
[That ‘un wuz from a lovely little thing named Amber-June. My ole pal Clyde who lives half a mile down the road a ways has been thinkin’ of asking Amber-June to marry him. I ain’t rightly sure what she’ll say, though. She’s had a whole bunch of offers already and so far turned down every single one of’em! I’ll try and keep ya posted, though. If Clyde ever makes it to first base with Amber-June we’ll let’cha know!]
2. “Amaze” the world with your Jewish ingenuity by showing us all how you can cut your toenails with a chainsaw
[And finally…here it is, folks! The number one thing we, the Goyim here in Mudflap Junction, would like to say to all the Jews in Israel who have anything to do with mistreatin’ anybody or lockin’ folks up without cause:]
1. Pick out your next new “anointed” messiah and pour a quart of motor oil over his head!
***
Well that’s it—our top 10! Hope ever’one out there was able to derive some inspiration from it. And finally one other thing…just a little note from all of us here in Mudflap Junction to Miss Hana Shalabi: We’re all thinkin’ about ya, darlin’, and we’ll all be a-prayin’ for ya in church this Sunday (even Billy, that is if he makes it to church after gettin' tanked on Saturday night!).
Best wishes,
Buddy the Goy
River to Sea Uprooted Palestinian The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this Blog!
For what is she in jail?
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