DO THE LEBANESE REALLY NEED A GOVERNMENT?

Ziad Fadel

We’re not impressed with all the hoopla about an absence of consensus over some new president for the Lebanese Republic. In truth, the whole affair is a big Yawn. When Michel Sulayman left office, thankfully and mercifully, there should have been a big sigh of relief – that is – unless the cunning Lebanese “lawmakers” found a way to extend his purposeless reign of stupefying ineptitude and humbuggery in order to justify their exorbitant salaries and unfettered access to the hallways of corruption – a necessary emolument which sits like a big fat pot of Fool’s Gold at the end of their purplish, Levantine Rainbow.
The Lebanese have never needed government. They function best without it. A country with negligible natural assets save some beautiful scenery (inviting tourism), gambling and lechery (inviting tourism), secretive banks (inviting tourism) and a laissez faire frame of mind towards everything because, you see, in Lebanon, as the saying goes, “you can even find bird’s milk in Beirut” - requires no administrative body to hem in the endemic affinity for moral squalor and depraved mammonism. Saudis and the rest of the Arabian monkeys come here to vent spleen over their suffocating Wahhabist culture. Germans come here to try out the dark-haired Russian tarts for whom they lust in a country “blonded out and blinded out” by decades of post-Versailles inculcation in the inherent perils of too much melanin. Whenever there has been a so-called “crisis” over the presidency, tourism has thrived, banks have prospered, airlines have expanded and arak sales soared through the proverbial roof. Prostitutes (professionals akin to parliamentarians) do a brisk business in the absence of their elected procurors. Happiness is only that far away.

HOW THE ABSENCE OF A CREDIBLE ARMY EXPLAINS THE NECESSARY ABSENCE OF GOVERNMENT

Lebanon has never had a real army. There is a reason for that which nobody wants to discuss. It’s not for want of money because there are many regional actors who would love to take over that portfolio and build up a credible army for the Lebanese. The problem is two-fold:

1. An army in the Middle East is always a medium for revolution or coups d’ etat. If you have a Shi’i-majority army, you might wind up with a Shi’i president and the repudiation of that old “Covenant”, “The Oral Agreement”;
2. An army might be asked to help in the fight against the Zionist Entity – something no right-minded Right-Wing Maronite or Saudi-Sunni-catamite could possibly abide. It’s Zionism that protects them, just like it protects King Abdullah of Jordan and King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia.

With no real army capable of defending the territorial integrity of the French-created state, a president and his government exist simply by popular indulgence. Being Lebanese means you don’t really care about the whole matter and the appearance of having a government is merely that – an appearance – that could be used to justify financial aberrations with references to legislatively created statutes normally deemed criminal, or at least “suspect”, in most disciplined societies. But, a government for any other purpose is unthinkable. Like a Brooks Brothers’ tie, one can wear it or hang it up. No great shakes.

With Hizbollah in existence, protecting the southern corridors of the country, Lebanese can relax and pretend they have a fearsome military to shame all other Arab armies – after all who kicked the Zionists out with the SLA? Who kicked the Zionist haunches out of all Lebanon in July 2006 and hand-delivered Zionism’s first major military defeat since the battles of the October War? And who gave the Syrian Army a nice boost in the Qalamoon, Al-Qusayr and Tal Kalakh? But, there is a big “BUT” here too. The Right-Wing Maronite establishment and its kindred Sunni-Saudi moles chafe whenever someone mentions Hizbollah – after all, it’s Hizbollah which constantly serves to highlight their ongoing treason and skullduggery when it comes to anything that smacks of Arab Nationalism or duty to Palestine.

The banks take care of everything else. As long as the Lebanese have money to spend, and foreigners have money to stash away, and Arabians have money to buy those expensive Somali bananas, there appears to be no great need for a president. What the Lebanese really need is a “Financial Coordinator” who makes sure everybody gets his weekly paycheck. The Parliament, as thick as thieves, a riffraff of knaves, a knot of toads, should meet but once a year to draft laws proposed by the Coordinator. The best way to insure they do not meet is to condition their membership on “charitable service” which means they get no pay. When they cannot reach a quorum because they always will fail to meet, the Coordinator enacts the laws by default.

If you’ll notice, this standoff is producing come interesting insights into how Lebanon really exists. Even Cardinal Bishara Al-Raa’iy tossed in his two bits about how the absence of a president is “shameful” and must be rectified immediately. But, when Michel Aoun, the bane of Zionist and Saudi stooges in Lebanon, suggested a direct election by the people for the presidency, the subject hardly made the front pages of major news sources. The fact is, the Lebanese “shadow government” can’t have direct elections because that would mean Aoun would be elected by a solid majority – an eventuality viewed by the Saudi monkeys as another victory for their major bete noire, Dr. Assad. You see, there is no way but the present way to guarantee a president acceptable to the United States, the Zionist Entity or the Saudi troglodytes. Once the people are given the right to vote, the U.S. and its allies go down to the main sewer.
It is only with the present system where the president is voted in by consensus of the morally bankrupt parliamentarians that somebody like Michel Sulayman can rise to power in Ba’abda. With someone like Sulayman, the French can send in spies and terrorism enablers in broad daylight, stuff them in neapolitan-colored Oscar Mayer buses and drop them off in northern Lebanon where they can assist Islamist terrorists in killing Syrian secular Muslims, Christians and Alawis. It is only with a president like Sulayman that the American ambassador in Beirut can come calling with a laundry list of demands that include the Lebanese turning a blind eye to terrorists massing in the Waadi Khaaled area and the Bekaa Valley in order to overthrow the legitimate government of Lebanon’s pesky neighbor.

Former president, Michel Sulayman, see here as a former “general” of the “Lebanese Army”, looks askance at the photographer to make sure he’s getting his best side.

In order to get the best candidate for the French-controlled Maronites and their emasculated Sunni/Saudi allies, the present system affords these compradorists their optimal chance to get Mr. Right elected. And who is Mr. Right? Only the little birdie in Tel Aviv knows.

It’s time to talk turkey. The Lebanese do not need this government and should opt out for the only realistic choice: empowerment of the National Bank of Lebanon to do what their presidents cannot – run the country honestly. In the absence of that, let the people choose their leader, the way they did it in Syria.
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Wednesday, 9 July 2014

DO THE LEBANESE REALLY NEED A GOVERNMENT?

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