Thursday, 8 May 2014

RUBINSTEIN/FORD MUSICAL ROCKS BROADWAY! by Ziad Fadel

Ahmad Jarbaa

Ahmad Jarbaa, as “Amos”, plays the role of a taciturn “adult chaperone service” manager recruited to lead a revolution against a very popular leader of a mythical nation by “Andy”, the drug-addled chief executive officer of Bananafana who is jealous of the popular leader’s blue eyes and gorgeous wife.

MNS Exclusive Report:

(Rex Snorton, critic) Old Man’s Liver, the newest Rubinstein/Ford musical collaboration is receiving boffo reviews all over Broadway. In the tradition of Lerner and Loew, Rodgers and Hammerstein and Zager and Evans, the play combines a refined mixture of fantasy and show-stopping melodies belted out by legendary actors BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA and Syrian ape impersonator, Ahmad Jarbaa, a new face which we predict will soon grace the Hollywood scene with fabulous new portrayals of Tarzan’s Cheetah, Ishmael and Might Joe Young. Other supporting roles are handled deftly by such off-Broadway stalwarts as, Evet Livovich Liberman(as “Avigdor the Bouncer”), John Bolton (as “Abu Sakkar) and Victoria Nuland (as “Helga the Hebrew Hussy”).

Lieberman assaults the senses with his landmark rendition of “Khaghaa Al Ha-Plishtineem” in this startlingly vibrant Moldavian version by Rubinstein and Ford.

The story is about an ethnically confused Kenyan tribal chieftain named “Andy” who covets the wife of “Lionskin” whose deep blue eyes he wants to gouge out in order to lead his tribe to victory over the “Putinees” and the “Parsees”. In order to accomplish this, he hires Amos (played by Jarbaa) to use his contacts in the prostitution underworld to cast aspersions on Lionskin perhaps so that his people will rise up and overthrow him. Andy’s hope is he can have Lionskin’s wife as a concubine and rule over the Kingdom of Hysteria. Amos, however, turns out to be more interested in enlarging his stable of spent women than committing to a coup d’etat in Hysteria. When Andy discovers this, he decides he will insult Lionskin by making Amos the “real leader of Hysteria” and giving him an ambassadorial post in his banana republic. The kicker is when Amos appears in public to accept the honor with a bevy of tarted up old hags and drag queens amid the cacophony of hisses, screeches and scornful laughter from the incredulous citizenry. Andy is inconsolable and sings the show-stopping song by Rubinstein and Ford: “OLD MAN’S LIVER”.

“Old man’s liver. That old man’s liver.
He must mean somethin’, it makes me quiver.
He keeps on pumpin’ – he keeps on pumpin’ his bile.
You and me, we’ll eat it raw,
Conquer Hysteria with claws and paw,
Fire that TOW, explode that bomb,
Get his Brit wife with all aplomb.
I’m so leery, but quick to judgment
I’m keen on mayhem, but prone to fudgement
He keeps on pumpin’, he keeps on pumpin’ his bile.”

And so many other important melodies by the incomparable pair of Daniel Rubinstein and Robert Ford who wrote such immortal songs as “Ukraine on my Brain”, Okra-Homa”, “Afghan Shuffle” and “Vladimir on the Rhein?”. This musical comes to its astounding conclusion with Amos singing “I’M JUST A WHOREMONGERING FOOL FROM HASAKA” while surrounded by the Hillary Clinton Schlokettes performing an hilarious can-can on ice skates in a take-off on Roller Derby that will have you in stitches. It is particularly amusing since there is no ice! A real side-splitter!

Kamal Labwani also sings his memorable version of “TAKE THE GOLAN AND SHOVE IT!”.

Now playing at the MonkeyMetro on Broadway. Starring: Barack Obama as “Andy”, Ahmad Jarbaa as “Amos”, William Hague as “GlansHead”, Hillary Clinton as “La Patrone Grande”, Kamal Labwaani as “Escariot”, George Sabra as “Captain Kangaroo” – Director: John McCain, Producer: Prince Fatso of Catarrh, Music: Daniel Rubinstein, Lyrics: Robert Ford, Special Effects: ISIS Light and Magic, Ltd.