Mahmoud Abbas is an asshole

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By Mohammad

My day started off in the worst possible way today. As I walked out to the main road to catch a taxi to work, I was met with poster upon poster upon poster of Abbasshole’s ugly face, staring at me from every lamppost, billboard and wall. They were everywhere, in the hundreds, pasted overnight in one of the weirdest acts of vandalism I’d ever experienced (vandalism carried out by the authorities?).

As the taxi made it short way down one of Ramallah’s main roads, Irsal Street, I was shocked to see the dictator’s smug mug pasted over the giant billboards too. I couldn’t quite understand it-no doubt the companies that had paid thousands for these advertising spaces would be livid, but the big companies here are pretty cushy with Abbasshole and his clique (after all, it is their millions that grease the rusted wheels of this fucked up Authority).

When I got to work, it became apparent that whoever had carried this out had some top-class backing. Firstly, the poster used is Abbasshole’s official Presidential photograph, the one he hangs up in his own office. Only his people have the rights to that picture. Secondly, the bastards who precipitated the uglyfication of our town must have had a lot of hands: the posters weren’t just littering Irsal Street, but also other parts of Ramallah and Albireh including Nablus Street and even, as called in by our very own indignant Um Mazen, on the massive Movenpick hotel in the heart of Ramallah.

I don’t understand the purpose of this stunt. Kabobfest called up the dictator’s office who readily admitted this was all their idea. They didn’t give a reason why though; they just enjoy fucking around with us, apparently unaware that we despise their prick of a boss. Maybe he wanted to remind the Israeli army patrols just who is in charge.

Covering towns with the face of the ‘president’ has long been a forte of Arab dictators, and it wouldn’t be the first time Abbasshole has hired cheap thugs to spread his special brand of assholeness.



Seriously, as I went through the town during the day, the scale of the vandalism really hit me. There were literally tens of thousands of the posters, not hundreds as I thought at first, and I’ve taken a few sample shots here, including some pasted over business signs and even the light-posts on the façade at work. As soon as I finished making sure the inside of my home was Abbasshole-free, I put these up.