Ziad Fadel

Fadi, this is ready to publish

Rami Abdul-Rahman, seen here ordering a pizza from “Chico’s of Coventry” as an MI6 agent lovingly photographs him for some inter-departmental article about the difference between misinformation and disinformation.

Since we started publishing as Syrian Perspective in 2011, this mustachioed and balding weasel (gee, sounds like Ziad except for the mustelan reference), has been a pack leader for that rare category of shameless charlatan and unabashed four-flusher inhabiting the rarefied elevations of British emigre offices where only the most disreputable scoundrels are recruited to serve the interests of the most disreputable of scoundrels. We nominate this swindler for the TONY BLAIR LIAR OF THE YEAR AWARD with no trepidation whatsoever – we do so with the knowledge that our act is sanctioned by our readership and the Prince of Lies himself, Tony Blair.

To be nominated for such a prize means you are a person of the same rank as Judy Woodruff, King Abdullah of Jordan, Victoria Nuland, John Kerry and many others who have distinguished themselves for their ability to tell outrageous lies with a straight face and to do so sometimes with a sense of solemnity reserved for eulogies, banquets, honoraria, press conferences, nightly news reports, and the like. Lying on this level of expertise means you are recognized by your peers as a professional flam-flam man, a poseur par excellence and a “made man”, for it is through the act of misrepresenting everything that one reaches positivism’s ultimate logical cul de sac: a world of complete unreliability. If it were not for the fork-tongued Tony Blair, Mr. Abdul-Rahman would receive a nomination for the Bertrand Russell/Heisenberg Uncertainty Award in that his proclamations have consistently defied the laws of physics.

Blair, seen in this iconic photo, his yawning maw agape as though to collect every possible hooey-bearing flea, has given his name to an eponymous award recognized as the only true acknowledgment of man’s quest for perfection in the quintessential, coruscating, scintillating, obfuscating world of psycho-babble. Anyone who has had the pleasure of trying to play fiddlestix with Mr. Blair’s endless rows of stripped lumber, each one, like a tree, with dendrochronological circles of lies giving hints about their age, vintage and complexity, can affirm that this man has an ability that is only “Satanically-given”, metaphysical and downright eerie. Remember what the great American jurist, Oliver Wendell Holmes once said: “You can find the truth almost anywhere, even occasionally in sworn affidavits.” And so lies pile upon lies.

Blair has been swearing that his genocidal war in Iraq was “just” and “principled”. He takes pride in helping his confederate, George W. Bush, to oust that hated dictator and totalitarian tyrant, Saddam Hussein. He is proud to have replaced him with Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi of ISIS, or so he might say if push came to shove, for Mr. Blair has that ability to lie “on his feet”, to invent sincere-sounding entreaties to logic and ethics – to blow smoke at blast furnaces. Blair once stood on a Toronto stage with the irrepressible British atheist, Christopher Hitchens, and listened to the latter (dying of esophageal cancer at the time) announce that “Iraqi women were enjoying true freedom now that Saddam was overthrown”. The lie was, of course, uttered by Hitchens who was probably under the influence of pain killers – but the truly masterful lie was uttered by Blair, who did not interject that women were much worse off after Saddam. Thus, his lying has reached another level of perfection – he can lie without saying anything. He lies by merely standing quietly at a dais!

Now back to Mr. Abdul-Rahman after our short segue into the background of this coveted award. Mr. Abdul-Rahman continues to get some (much fewer now) references to his non-existent “network” of informants all over Syria. (Nyuk) I have told you before that his only sources are the British spooks in Incirlik who get their news from Captagon-addled Saudi apes, and his beloved Ouija Board. He has managed to dupe Alalam into quoting his announcements. Other “news” sources like Daily Star, Al-Jazeera, Al-Arabiya and Al-Bawaba, rent-a-fraud companies financed by Arabian chimpanzees, regularly use him as filler when all the news is going terribly well for the Syrian army.

And so we congratulate Mr. Abdul-Rahman on his fourth straight nomination. Keep the lies coming, we’re enjoying them. ZAF