Professor Shulman explains, "In Hebonics, the response to any question is usually another question with a complaint that is either implied or stated."
Thus "How are you?" may be answered, "How should I be, with my bad feet?" Shulman says that Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism.
An example is the repetition of a word with "sh" or "shm" at the beginning: "Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You should want a nosebleed?"
Another Hebonics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: "It's beautiful, that dress."
Shulman says one also sees the Hebonics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as "He's slow as a turtle," could be: "Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks."
Shulman provided the following examples from his best-selling textbook, Switched-On Hebonics:
Question: "What time is it?"
English answer: "Sorry, I don't know."
Hebonic response: "What am I, a clock?"
Remark: "I hope things turn out okay."
English answer: "Thanks."
Hebonic response: "I should be so lucky!"
Remark: "Hurry up. Dinner's ready."
English answer: "Be right there."
Hebonic response: "Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the 'hurry business?'
Is there a fire?"
Remark: "I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time."
English answer: "Glad you like it."
Hebonic response: "So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties I
gave you?"
Remark: "Rhonda and I are engaged."
English answer: "Congratulations!"
Hebonic response: "She could stand to lose a few pounds."
Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?"
English answer: "Just say when."
Hebonic response: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?"
To the guest of honor at a birthday party:
English answer: "Happy birthday."
Hebonic response: "A year smarter you should become."
Remark: "A beautiful day."
English answer: "Sure is."
Hebonic response: "So the sun is out; what else is new?"
Answering a phone call from a son:
English answer: "It's been a while since you called."
Hebonic response: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead already?"
jewishinstlouis note:
Question: "Is this story for real?"
English answer: "What, are you nuts?
Hebonic response: "After everything we've done enough for you... you should even ASK this question?!"
River to Sea Uprooted Palestinian
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